I wonder....

As I sit here in the Chicago airport, I find my mind wandering home to my family and the daughter I long to hold in my arms, Chloe Bella.  I cannot help but wonder what she is doing at this moment in time.  I wonder if she will ever know how completely in love with her I am even before seeing her face or holding her in my arms.  I wonder if she has a big personality like mine or if she is more thoughtful like Michael.  I wonder if she will be a girly girl or if she will want nothing to do with dresses or ribbons in her hair.  I wonder if she will love baby dolls or digging for worms  and hunting for toads, or both like me.  I wonder how many friends she has seen come and go (meaning adopted by other families) already in her short life.  I wonder if I will ever be able to be the mother she deserves.  I wonder if I will be able to comfort her when she cries in the beginning or if I too will be unfamiliar and scary.  I wonder if she will adore Logan right away or if that relationship will develop over time.  I wonder, I wonder, I wonder.

The wait this last month seems to be longer than the entire last 5 years I/we have been waiting.  I am crazy busy at work and you would think that would distract me, but I find myself tearing up all the time with the thoughts of finally seeing her face, holding her in my arms, and being able to welcome her into our family.  I look forward to all the "firsts" that we are going to experience with her.  I praise God for opening my heart to this child and giving me the strength (although all of you who know me know that I often questioned him and his timing/method...questioned...ha, that is kinda funny, more like swearing and telling him how wrong he was) to hold on, trust and wait for my sweet Chloe.

Fast Facts on Chinese Adoption

Number of Adoptions from China:
2009: 3,001
2008: 3,911
2007: 5,453
2006: 6,493
2005: 7,906
2004: 7,044
2003: 6,859
2002: 5,053

Age/Gender of Children Adopted From China in 2006
Source: INS Immigration Statistics
91% Female
44% under 1 year of age
52% 1 – 4 years of age

Profile of Children: 91% girls; 44% under the age of 1 at the time of adoption (2006); all children eligible for adoption must be legally resident in one of China's child welfare institutes. Some use of foster care.
Travel: At least one parent must travel to China to adopt. Average stay is 10-14 days. U.S. visa issued at consulate in Guangzhou.
Family Status: Married couples only. Married a minimum of 2 years if a first marriage; 5 years if second or third marriage. No more than 2 previous marriages allowed for either spouse. No more than 4 children living in home. Both spouses must have H.S. diploma. Additional requirements regarding health, legal history, and income have also been put into place

Why Adoption....

So many people have asked me "why adoption"? over the past 5 years.  This is what I can tell you.  I have never been more clear on ANY path God has chosen me to follow.  From a very early age, I knew God had called me to adopt and I was so blessed to marry a man who also felt the same.  I am not saying the adoption path has been easy or without heartbreak as the road has been very long, at times very difficult, and incredibly frustrating.  That said, most things that are so precious in life are not always easy.  Now, as we are beginning to see the light at the end of a very LONG DARK tunnel, I am starting to see how answering God's call can be so gratifying and have a truly amazing impact.

Five Years Ago

Over five and a half years ago today...

We went through a year long paper chase getting all our documents in order for the adoption of our daughter from China.  On April 28, 2006 we were officially in line at China. The wait for referral at the time was expected to be 6 to 7 months; three years ago it was 17 months; two years ago it was 27 months; last year it was 38 months; and, as of April 2010 it has officially reached 48 months.  As much as this has been a difficult wait, we have really enjoyed this time with our amazing little boy Logan.

As we sit here reflecting, our thoughts are much more positive. After all, we should know within four weeks who will be our dear sweet little girl will be.

Below is a list of thoughts to bring you up to speed...

1. We will know who will be our child in a maximum of five weeks.
2. There are only two days ahead of us in line.
3. Her name will be Chloe Bella
4. We will be celebrating Christmas 2010 as a family of four.
5. Logan is over the moon excited about getting a little sister and of course we are too!  Getting a daughter that is. :)
6. We are beginning to see the light at the end of a very long dark tunnel.
7. We still have much paper work ahead of us.
8. Her room is all done and ready for her to move in!
9. We love her more than words can say.
10. Next summer our princess will be playing along with all the kids in my neighborhood.
11. We have thought, prayed and loved (just as if I were pregnant) Chloe for 5+ long years!
12. GOD IS GOOD!  :)

Stay tuned...